


Fragments

by orphan_account



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Siblings, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is Extra, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Angst, Depressing, Gen, Heavy Angst, Insecure Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, No Incest, Song Lyrics, Song: Evelyn Evelyn, Unsympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22108561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: 1 side split into 2.1 of the pieces was ok. The other wasn't.(Based on the song: "Evelyn Evelyn" by the band "Evelyn Evelyn")
Comments: 13
Kudos: 61





	Fragments

**Author's Note:**

> The lines in italics are song lyrics!  
> The lyrics on the left side are based around Roman, the right side is based around Remus, and the middle is both of them.

_Why do we bother to stay?_

Part of him cared. He felt that there was no option except for perfection. He had to be perfect, absolute, a role model to all other sides. Anything other than this was unacceptable and would ultimately lead to disaster. He knew that perfection was usually Logan’s thing, but he cared about it too, on the inside. He didn’t want the others to see him so… unprepared. 

The other part wasn’t so fussed. Dignity was an abstract concept, and he was perfectly happy wandering around aimlessly without a care for others' opinions of him. So what if his food choices were a little unusual, who cared if his idea wasn’t completely family friendly? Life was short, much too short, and what was the point in fussing over stupid things, like being clean, or civilised, or normal? 

Both fought for control, struggling with their lack of agreement, fighting to suppress each other. It was almost like-

Almost like there were 2 people inside his head.

_Why are you running away?_

Why was he hiding this? The other sides would understand, they’d know what to do. They wouldn’t hate him, because it wasn’t his fault that this was happening…  
They could help. They could make him feel whole again, and then there’d be no problems, just him and his creative ideas, helping to make Thomas successful… 

But could he really stand to live with this other part of him? The part that made him blurt out unfriendly ideas without a second thought, urged him to do stupid things like stick his hand into boiling water, or throw objects off of a bridge knowing he wouldn’t get them back… It was insane, he knew the ideas weren’t rational and would only lead to chaos, and yet… they were a part of him. He didn’t know how life would be without them.

_Don’t you feel like severing?_

Of course, there were still moments where he hated it. After all, there’s only so much insanity one can take without consequences, and for him the consequences were the other sides finding out.   
“It’s like one half of you is positive, and the other is negative.” Logan mused after one of King’s random outbursts. Just because those stupid sides couldn’t understand how fascinating it was to watch someone’s hand get caught in a blender. He should never have mentioned the thought, the others wouldn’t understand. They never did.   
“I’m positive!” he argued. “I swear, I just get curious sometimes…” his sentence trailed off, and by the look on Logan’s face, he wasn’t buying it at all.   
“I know exactly what’s going on.” Patton spoke quietly, hand on his chin as he stared at King, who felt slightly intimidated by this look “Don’t you worry, King. Everything will make sense soon.”

_Everything’s just come together at last_

The calm before the storm. For one day, he felt perfectly fine. He could work with whatever idea came into his head. He knew what to do with the thoughts that the others wouldn’t like. Everything was starting to make sense. It was going to be ok-

_It’s broken, I don’t want to play_

And then it wasn’t. 

The split had been unexpected, for them at least. They woke up as 2 separate individuals, both equally confused. And everyone else seemed to know everything, except for them. Their minds felt foggy, as though something was missing….

_We grew up closer than most_

Roman. The prince. The good side of creativity. He was in charge of all of Thomas’s creative ideas, and played a large part in his everyday life. 

Remus. The duke. The bad side of creativity. He was banished. He didn’t feel bad. He was just trying to help Thomas live his life. Why couldn’t they see that? He’d make them see….

Roman and Remus rarely saw each other now. This was a startling change, considering they’d spent most of their life as one person. They knew each other inside out. But Patton said that Remus was no good for Thomas, and Deceit warned Remus that it was too soon, he should lie low for a while and wait for Patton to realise. 

_Closer than anything_

They missed each other, so, so much. Roman would hide his tears from the others as he wished for a chance to see his brother. Remus would keep his emotions trapped inside, but all he wanted was to be accepted. He wasn’t bad. Why did everyone think he was?

_Talked about everything, spoke about so many things_

At least in the last few months Roman had someone in his head to keep him company. Now he felt lonely. Sure, the other sides were there, and they’d gladly listen to his ideas, but none of them could compare to his brother. His twin was another part of him, and he desperately needed him back. He didn’t care that they thought he was ‘bad’. 

_What shall we wear tonight? What shall we eat today?_

Deep in the imagination, far away from the others’s watchful eyes, they’d found a way. They’d meet each other each morning, long before any of the other sides were awake. Together once again, they had become committed to being as similar as possible. They wore matching outfits, spoke at the same time, tried so hard to be like each other. If only they could find a way to become one again…

_Should we be firemen? Can we be Astronauts?_

In the safety of the imagination, they could be whoever they wanted to. Even just for a few hours a day, they had the chance to forget about how messed up the situation had become, to be themselves.   
“Do you think the others will ever accept me?” Remus asked one morning as they watched the sunrise.   
“I’m not sure.” Roman answered honestly.

_What if they find us?_  
_They’re not looking anyway_

Eventually, they were caught. The imagination was divided into 2 sections, one for Roman and one for Remus, with a strong fence in the middle. It was cruel, so unfair, but… maybe it was for the best.

Remus waited at the fence every morning, hope shining in his eyes. Roman never came.

_Fill my glass, let’s drink a toast_

Roman was OK. He had the light sides. His new family. They understood him, they appreciated his ideas, they listened… What more could he want? He didn’t miss his brother. He didn’t…

_This is our birthday, so why are we weeping?_

They were much older now, and had no interest for childish things like before. Remus was fine. He was a dark side, he was evil. He would never be accepted by the others. His brother would never be proud of him and his ideas, and he was fine with that. He could make do with his dark roommates and his crowded mind. Everything was fine. 

Roman probably didn’t even remember his name….

_I feel like a ghost_

He suppressed the emotions into his thoughts. He communicated his feelings the only way he knew how: violent scenarios and disgusting imagery. With each new - experiment, he liked to call them - he felt further away from his emotions and closer to some sort of good feeling. He tried not to feel upset when no one liked his ideas. They would eventually. 

_What shall we wear tonight? What shall we eat today?_

The pair had changed a lot over the years. Roman had gotten self-absorbed. Remus had gotten dark. They hardly recognised each other anymore. Their days in the imagination together felt like a forgotten dream.

_Do you think I should marry him? But we just met him yesterday_

Roman made Remus feel sick. Where was his fun loving brother who was always up to a challenge, didn’t scream at bugs or get mad at someone for looking at him the wrong way? Why be so bothered about whether that guy thought Thomas was cute? What was so special about the dashing prince from that movie they’d watched last week? Where was that perfect mindset that they both shared, long ago?

Roman was… disturbed by what his brother had turned into. Surely he’d never been this bad, even when they were kids… But something in his head reminded him of that feeling from years ago. The loss of control, the fight against the insane side of his brain. Things were better off this way.

_They’re watching us anyway_

Remus hated everything. He hated the disapproving looks Thomas had given him every time he’d spoken. He hated the way that the others treated him, as though he was a deadly disease and had no feelings. He hated having to suppress his emotions. He needed stability, he needed a quiet head, he needed…  
Roman. 

_We grew up so close_

“Remus? What are you doing?” Roman blinked back the sleep from his eyes, confused at having been awoken so early. “It’s 5AM.” 

Something was wrong.

_A parasite needs a host_

“We have to merge.”   
“What?”  
“We have to become King again. Please, I can’t-” Remus’s voice cracked and he paused, blinking back tears. “I can’t be like this anymore.”  
“Are you crazy? No way! Thomas needs this, he needs us separate. Don’t you remember how scatterbrained we were as one? It was chaos, there’s no way we can function like that.” Roman waved a hand, dismissing Remus’s words as though they were nothing but a mere offer. He didn’t understand how much it had taken for his brother to ask this…

_I’m only trying to do what is best for us_

“Please Ro, you don’t understand.” A stray tear slid down his face, but he ignored it in favour of talking. “I can’t do this anymore, my head is so crowded, I can't focus-”

_Well I never asked for this, I never wanted this_

“I wish we could, Remus.” Roman spoke quietly, hesitantly. “But there is too much stopping us. How do you think this would affect Thomas? He’s grown up with us like this. We can’t just go back!”

_Looking in your eyes, I’m coming home_

“We can do it.” Remus continued to plead. “It will make everything better! Please…”

_Just get away from me, please just stop touching me_

“Stop it!” Roman shouted suddenly, quietening his brother, who looked at him, tears in his eyes. “You’re being ridiculous. We can’t. Just go back to bed! You’ll feel better if you sleep.” 

_You’re always trying to be somebody else_

“You never understand, do you?” Remus screamed. “Everything’s fine for you! You have your stupid little family, and your stupid ideas that everyone loves! You’re perfect!” he was definitely crying now, tears were streaming down his face and he didn’t try to hide them. The other sides could definitely hear his shouting, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d hidden his feelings for too long. 

_Well, you’re only scared of me_

“You’re just jealous!” Roman retaliated. “Just because they like my ideas better than yours! You’ll never learn to grow up, will you?” 

_But you never cared for me_

“You think this is just me being childish?” Remus was furious. How hard was it for them to understand? “Do you realise how much of this isn’t my fault?” Of course he didn’t realise. His brother was so wrapped up in his own life to realise how much he had been suffering. 

_Why don’t you let me free?_

“Look, why don’t we talk about this tomorrow? We can figure things out…” Roman spoke quieter now, unsure of what else to do. He wasn’t the side to go to for comfort, and he’d never seen his brother this… upset.

“Sure, I’ll give you time to plan what you’re going to do to me. What’s it gonna be this time? Lock me back in the darkness until I’ve calmed down? Run away instead of facing what you’ve done to me?” 

_Cause you never listen you’re always insisting_

“What I’ve done? Sure, I’m the source of all of your problems. Maybe if you weren’t so inferior, the others would accept you!” Roman finally shouted. Remus stayed silent. 

_(I’m just_

  
_Just stop)_

  
_Reminiscing_

How could he think everything would go back to normal? Roman was good. Remus was bad. That was the way it had always been, and that was the way it would stay. Why would Roman even want to associate himself with someone like Remus?

_I feel something missing_

He’d just have to put up with the noise in his head. There was no fixing him. 

_I just want_

_(You here with me_

  
_My privacy)_

“Get out.” Roman growls in a quiet, threatening voice. “I don’t want to look at you.” His brother turned, leaving without another word. 

_(Can’t we just get along?_

Remus didn’t stop running until he reached his room, where he stopped, falling to the floor in a broken mess. He sobbed loudly, vaguely aware of the footsteps leading their way to his room. What did it matter who was there? He felt nothing. 

_Won’t you leave me alone?)_

“Roman?” Patton stood at the doorway, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Is everything alright? I thought I heard shouting.”  
“Just Remus being himself.” Roman turned, smiling at Patton. “Nothing to worry about.”

Everything was fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to point out any mistakes you notice, I appreciate constructive criticism. Hope you enjoyed! 
> 
> (Tumblr: straight-as-ramen - I take requests for fics)


End file.
